The Sovereign Drop 006 - on Control

Control.

High performers use it like a reflex. 

Not because they’re power-hungry — but because they’re unsettled. 

A man who feels stable on the inside doesn’t need to control things on the outside, but a man who feels unmoored will unconsciously tighten his grip. On:

Systems.

People. 

Meetings.

Schedules.

Outcomes.

Conversations.

It looks like leadership.

Often it’s a compensatory strategy for something he hasn’t slowed down enough to feel. 

High-capacity men are masters at appearing calm while orchestrating every variable. (Which is an incredible skill you should retain.) 

They call it excellence, ownership, and discipline — and sometimes it is.

But sometimes? It’s avoidance in a tailored suit. 

The more competent you are, the longer you can get away with it —

which makes the eventual reckoning even sharper.

Control feels safer than vulnerability, but it costs more than you think.

When your nervous system is unsettled…

When something is off emotionally…

When your stress is rising…

Or fear is present like a new roommate…

You don’t slow down and sort the internal tension — you manage harder.

You attempt to shape the world to match the stability you can’t seem to access internally.

This is what happens when order is imposed on the wrong layer of the problem.

It’s like a man holding a rope in a tug-of-war alone —

pulling and tightening —never realizing that the tension he's fighting is coming from within, not from an opponent.

You won’t out-organize an unregulated interior.

You won’t out-plan an unaddressed fear.

You won’t out-lead a team when you’re lost to yourself.

You won’t out-perfect what actually needs your presence, not your polish. 

You won’t out-build a foundation that’s cracked beneath the surface.

Every man eventually hits the moment where the strategies that once worked stop working —

not because they were wrong,

but because they were substitutes.

Let me be so very clear. Control isn’t the real problem. 

It’s what you’re using it to avoid that becomes the issue.

Question:

What inner instability are you trying to solve with external control?

Integration:

This week, interrupt the reflex to manage.

When you feel the urge to correct, tighten, rush, direct, or “buckle down on” out of fear...

Breathe.

Let your shoulders drop.

Ask yourself:

What’s this really about?

True command begins inside — not out there.

Benediction:

Your power is not in your grip —

it’s in your grounding.